


Wishful Thinking

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: (of some sorts), Character Study, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:01:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23752762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Under the solace of the chilly evening of spring, are two boys who are certain of some things. The future is not one of them.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 37





	Wishful Thinking

> Wishful thinking - a product of resolving conflicts between belief, and desire.

  
  


Evenings during the spring are chilly, but that does not stop two boys to occupy the backyard of the Tsukishima residence.

It is a silent evening, as well as a comfortable one. They haven’t been talking for the past few hours that they are staying here, but neither of them seems to mind. 

When two people have known each other for a long time, and grew with each other all throughout, no words are needed between them. However, the bespectacled boy has been fidgeting more wildly than ever. 

Tsukishima Kei is a calculating person. Logical to a T. He values simplicity in everything and he finds reassurance in being able to predict the next moves of someone, when they think they’re being subtle.

He is the air of nonchalance topped off with an expressionless face, but none of those show up as he stares at the grass.

At least, not to Yamaguchi.

He is able to see the way Tsukishima taps his foot, the way his hands stutter as they spin the volleyball. Tsukishima looks like a mix of spaced out and troubled. Yamaguchi knows what’s up when those habits surface.

No words are needed between them. But in times like this, it is best to speak up.

So he asks, “Tsukki, are you alright?”

Unfortunately, the sturdiness radiating from Tsukishima is an umbrella term for his stubbornness too. Yamaguchi expects it, of course-- the slight frown contorting Tsukishima’s features as he feigns irritation. 

But he knows this: Tsukishima listens to him. So Yamaguchi prods him again.

“Tsukki.”

“Hm.”

“I asked if you were alright.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

_ Ah. _ Yamaguchi resists the urge to let out an outburst. Maybe say something like,  _ Tsukki, answering a question with another question? _

Tsukishima’s eyes are now glazed over the basketball ring, hands working in tandem to spin the volleyball. Yamaguchi reaches over and stops the spinning. 

_ Plan worked.  _ Tsukishima whirled at him slowly, the slightest annoyance dotting his face. Yamaguchi only smiles kindly as he pries the ball from Tsukishima’s hands.

“Your face tells a different story, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi answers. He lets go of the ball and leans closer. “I’ll rephrase it:  _ is something wrong? _ ”

Immediately, his best friend takes in a shuddering breath and slouches. Folding his hands against his lips, he replies, “It’s scary how the future is so uncertain.” Yamaguchi hums, urging him to continue. “And sometimes it makes me think,  _ what’s the point of doing this all? They won’t last forever.  _ It’s… it’s both reassuring and disappointing that nothing lasts forever. But looking in hindsight and regretting horribly would be seriously annoying.”

He faces Yamaguchi, his eyebrows knitting. “You.”

Yamaguchi’s heart is threatening to climb up to his throat. “Me?”

“What guarantees we’ll stay together for as long as possible?” Tsukishima asks as a pained whisper, curling his hands to fists. He turns away again. “It’s… it’s bad enough to think that whatever passion I have will burn out sooner or later. … Not that I think I’m...passionate enough, to begin with.”

Yamaguchi recalls every past match, as he watches from the benches, how Tsukishima would turn back from the net with a scowl, after a point goes to the opposing team. Yamaguchi knows his calculations have been wrong. He recalls every post-examination moment, whenever he goes to Tsukishima’s classroom and sees him smile, as he scans through book pages. Yamaguchi knows that he’s guessed right on what will appear on the test. 

Yamaguchi looks back on his best friend. He’s still hunched over, lost in his own thoughts. 

He takes a deep breath, sets a hand on Tsukishima’s shoulder. The latter turns to him. Yamaguchi tries to ignore the twist in his heart when he glazes over the defeated slouch in Tsukishima’s shoulders, the stiffness sitting on his lips, the frantic way his eyes search for something abstract in a concrete world. 

Yamaguchi feels just as drained all of a sudden. His mind is suddenly filled with images of his older self, who has stopped trying, completely burnt out that he just  _ gives up.  _ He thinks of Tsukishima, who is the first to enter his life and will find his way out soon enough, who will suddenly cut off contact. 

Yamaguchi’s heart wrenches hard. Suddenly his eyes get misty. Nonetheless, he attempts a reassuring smile.

“Listen, Tsukki,” he begins shakily. “You have different controls on me and your passion, yeah? It is entirely  _ your  _ decision if you want to stay committed to doing what you love, and loving what you do. But with me, you only affect me by, what, a third? A quarter? Because whether I want to stay with you or not, is completely up to  _ me _ .”

They are silent for a while. Yamaguchi sees Tsukishima’s eyes scanning all around. And then, “my actions… My actions will be a factor whether you want to stay or not.”

“They will be,” Yamaguchi agrees. “But--” The hand on Tsukishima’s shoulder travels to his hair, brushing the locks repetitively. 

“--It is still my final decision on how to respond to them.” Yamaguchi ruffles his hair rather roughly, eliciting a snarl from Tsukishima and making him swat the offending hand away. Yamaguchi breaks into a chuckle, carefully looks at Tsukishima’s annoyed face, and bursts out laughing. 

Tsukishima joins in a little while, until they finally gasp for breaths, placing a hand on their chest, and another on their stomach. 

When they finally recover, Yamaguchi breaks the silence.

“Trust in yourself, Tsukki,” he says. Tsukishima’s hands are now in his. “Because I trust you. Do you trust me?”

“Of course I do.” 

“That’s good to know.” Yamaguchi squeezes his hands and smiles. “And thank you for telling me this. You’ll do great.”

“How can you be so sure?”

The chilly breeze of spring lets out another gust of wind. Yamaguchi beams at him, his heart fluttering lightly in his chest. “Because it’s you.”


End file.
